Initiation Poem

Under the crushing weight of

Self doubt

Imposed over the years

And seen too late.

Walking through the years

With closed eyes

Shrunken in size

Unknowingly choosing to compromise

My understanding of self,

Folded into boxes

Becoming something I don’t recognize.

Allowing myself to slip between cracks

With so much to unpack

Constantly waiting for the next attack.

How did this go so far off track and why

Am I so aware of the things I lack?

Vision starts to clear

And suddenly I hear

Songs of revaluation

Permitting me to see and taste and feel

The hope coursing through the air

In realizing the strength that lies deep inside

No longer afraid to hide.

Evoking an ancient spirit,

Letting it fill the space in my heart

Giving me the confidence to start

Accepting my part

The role I am meant to play

One where I have spent so much time running away

Not confronting

The darkness I’ve always turned a blind eye.

Finally my soul is willing to try to

Calibrate to it’s purpose

Though nervous

To reach for the depths

Secrets I’ve kept

From myself

Put on the shelf

But a call from spirit

Demolishing my walls

With proud nobility

And brute strength.

An earth shattering trumpet sounds

Reverberating through my chest

Without rest

A primal call to action

Shattering my perception into fractions.

Is this my time

To rewind

And take back the power

I didn’t know I had?

That I gave so freely

To those that deceived me

And left me in shards

Believing that loving me is hard.

No.

That’s not it.

Those projections weren’t mine

To carry through life.

They are just obstacles

That spent years confined

Deep in my darkness.

Ganesh help me harness

Momentum to leave those

Heavy pieces behind.

He says

Cast those obstacles

At my feet

And allow yourself to receive

The healing you deserve.

Accept the elephant’s strength

Grant permission to erase

The attachments you are afraid

To let go of

And trust in me.

Through trials will arise

And be unavoidable

Know that your wisdom

And trust that what is divine

Will allow unshakable peace

Let attachments cease

Embody your beliefs.